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Cattery Heavenly
Kris Flossie / BKV’94 After 15 years the close friendship between Kris Flossie (cattery Markies de Carabbas) and me ended suddenly. This resulted in the end of my membership with BKV'94 by expulsion from the club. Due to unrelated aspects and people and also the unapproachable attitude of Kris Flossie herself, there was no more room for conversation or other means of negotiation. Because of the more then painful way, all of this happened, I will make it public. I will admit that I too have said many angry words, but I am not willing to let myself be accused falsly of anything, or to be silent about this because of threats to publish private matters and I think it's only logical that I fight the way I have been treated and accused, after being a good friend for many years and supporting the BKV'94 for a long time. If the threats should be executed, my response will be of the same nature !!! I leave everyone to his own opinion in this matter. I have been friends with Kris Flossie for 15 years. During that time she’s had several kittens from me for free and has used my boys for stud without having to pay for it. In my opinion it was a close friendship, that went further than just the common love for cats. When she became president of BKV’94 cat club, it was only logical for me to become a member, even though I could expect a lot of bad gossip, that Dutch breeder get when they join a Belgian cat club. Also obviously to me, I helped with all assignments of BKV’94. Dennis and I helped on every show with the build up and on the show itself too. We received the same compensation for that, as every other helper, no more – no less! We did however spend the night at a hotel mostly, but that was only fair, as we would have otherwise had to drive up and down to the Netherlands 4 times. (without ever asking for petrol money)Kris asked me after a while, if I wanted to do the pedigree registration for BKV’94, because the person who was doing it at that time, only functioned as a data typist, without any knowledge of genetics and rewarding herself with the ridiculous amount of € 3.50 per pedigree. Again I was willing to offer my knowledge and skills. We agreed that I would get € 1.00 per pedigree, because of course, I had expenses too for using the computer. In the beginning I had a lot of extra work, as there were many mistakes in the old pedigrees that were in the system. Also the layout of the pedigrees was  in English and  in Dutch, which to me didn’t appear very professional. All those mistakes were fixed and improved and after  1 year the pedigree registration was very compatible in my opinion. At a given time the website of BKV’94 was mentioned in a friendly, informal conversation and the possibilities of improvement were discussed. I was asked to do this. Full of enthusiasm I started creating a new website in 3 languages with a lot of new, digital possibilities. Everybody was satisfied and happy with the changes, that were in the interest of the members and therefore definitely in the interest of the cat club. The website had one minor detail that wasn’t satisfying… it wasn’t compensated. Kris’ promises never came through to “make it up to me”. She was the last (after 4 weeks that the new website was put online) to write in the guestbook that she thought it was all very beautiful, but the tangible reward never came. After I let Kris know, that I was hurt and crossed about this, I got a response in way of an avoiding lame excuse and that was it. When I then told her I wanted to quit doing the pedigree registration (after 2  years) I got the impression that she didn’t care anymore about our friendship and that I had become redundant. (this was at the time that I had the problems with cattery von Dandeloh.) Kris has never bothered to help with the situation, in spite of her oh-so-huge love for cats and her friendship with me. I’d even dare to think that she didn’t have a clue what was going on here, as she was no longer committed to me)I have tried to talk about this with her, but that was blocked off. Due to her fixed attitude, I thought it fit to make clear how I feel about promises made between friends, so I send her a bill for the website for BKV’94. I also send her an e-mail telling her how I feel and that after all I had done for her and the club, I would have expected a lot more from a true friend then just an overripe thank-you in a guestbook and a broken promise, while I had to watch submissive how she was showering others with her affection and attentions. Obviously the truth hurt her very bad and she felt the need to respond to this in a most inferior way, by sending me a subpoena !!! Naturally this action was replied by some very angry words, from both sides !!Unfortunately a number of people felt a calling to function as representative in speaking defensively for Kris and amongst others. I received an e-mail from Monique Roelants ( cattery du Clos des Lilas) full of abusive terms, threats and accusations. On facebook I ventilated my hurt over this, resulting in responses from third party people who all wanted to contribute, without being involved or connected to the whole thing. This showed me, that Kris was obviously telling private things about me to others, apparently because she had the need for back-up in her muckraking campaign that she had now started against me. This diminutive abuse of trust didn’t stop me from trying to talk to her several more times. Unfortunately Kris loved the role of victim so much, that she didn’t want to listen to me and so the judge had to make a verdict on the matter. Before all that, Kris again broke one of her promises, by expelling me from the BKV’94 without giving a reason or any way to defend myself! Only a couple of weeks before she had written to me in an e-mail that she would “never kick me out of the club and that she was able to separate private from business (BKV’94) “Yeah right…..Until this day I still don’t know what lies she has been telling the people who put their names under my expelling. I do know that not one of them has bothered to check if Kris was telling the truth. Her “story” was believed without questioning or qualms of conscience, by people whom I called my friends and acquaintances. People that have not once been able to catch me on a lie or any other bad habit, which would have supported Kris’ story and motivated for my expelling. Even worse: for one of the board members from BKV’94, I had offered his wife one of my kidneys for transplantation !!! The same person has ( even though I send him e-mails – and never got an answer) not even bothered to think, that if I was willing to risk my own health for another, that I couldn’t be a bad person now, or could I?! Needless to say that I have shed many tears over this…….. The expelling, which was done before the verdict at court, apparently wasn’t enough to satisfy the hate feelings of Kris and her accomplishers, they also restricted me from any BKV’94 related events. At the court, which was to decide whether BKV’94 did or did not have to compensate me for my work on the website, the BKV’94 tried by all means to prove that they are a destitute club and that the amount I was asking did not resemble the work I had done. Shortly calculated, I had saved BKV’94 more then € 2.500,- in the time I did the pedigrees, compared to what they used to pay for a very poor registration, brought them at least 10 new members (which is 10% of all members of BKV’94) and they strangely enough did have the needs to buy a € 1.000,- camera for the show photographer (used two days in a year…..) just months before. The judge send us out in the hallways to come to an agreement, but the lawyer of the poor penniless BKV’94 seemed to think I was on trial for murder and was not willing to come to any compromise at all, there was no room for input from my side. We went back inside and I asked the judge to decide if the offer from BKV’94 seemed fair and the verdict was that they had to give me a small financial compensation for the website, pay my work for the pedigrees that they still owed me and allow me entrance to BKV’94 cat shows, be it only as a visitor as Kris and Mieke van Agtmael couldn’t cope with the idea of having me there as an exhibitor. (imagine…..) In exchange BKV’94 got their belongings back, which was still in my possession in agreement with the Judge (!!!) as a collateral. These belongings were: the paper archive of the pedigree registration, a printer and a hard disk, which BKV’94 themselves had already forgotten about, but which I – in spite of their poor memory – didn’t want to keep to myself under no circumstance. Despite of the exultant postings on facebook that “justice had been done”, Kris and Mieke apparently realized after a while, that justice had been doneon my behalf not theirs and yet again they had to show how they deal with getting a brush off….. They went to send an e-mail to all Belgian and Dutch cat clubs, to give notice on my expelling, accompanied by a script that was easy interpreted as my steeling goods from BKV’94 and deliberately harming them in any possible way, even trying to gain the position of president from Kris. (never in my life !!!) Fortunately there are a huge number of people, that know me personally and would never believe such false accusations, but the plan of the two ladies had almost made it. Trying to slander my reputation and profile themselves. All this under the robe off: it’s in the rules of the cat club that an expelling should be made public. Of course there were angry words about this up-and-down, but eventually I realized that it’s no use. Someone who is so full of hatred, simply come out of disagreement regarding issues that could have been solved in a good normal conversation between friends, doesn’t have any more room in her heart for conscience or reality. Several attempts before and after the court session and e-mail to the clubs, to come to a conversation, were blocked by Kris or answered with accusations that didn’t hold any grounds. The people around her a so manipulated by her, that I only pity them ,knowing that one day they will wake up and realize that they have been used and abused. Kris has tried through sources to regain the cat that I have from her cattery. Unfortunately the person who was stupid enough to let herself be used for this, was also too stupid to realize that I saw right through her intentions from day one. The time for talking has elapsed and repairing the damage she has done is impossible. I had to think long and hard,if I would post this on my website, because on one side I don’t want to fight or argue, but on the other hand (and that appear to have more weight) I am in no mood to get wrongly accused and silenced because of threats that things from my private life will be revealed. If she feels it necessary to choose the last option, I think it’s proof enough what kind of person she is and what the value of her friendship and promises is. Also she will have to realize that that knife cuts both ways, as I have gained knowledge of a lot of things during those 15 years that I regarded her as my best friend, that don’t look good in daylight. The people that got involved because of her, might function as mouth piece for her again, nut the value of a comment from a third party in this story is absolutely nothing and anyhow based upon Kris’ statements, without any proof, arguments or foundation of facts, nor any input on my behalf, so very narrow minded and false, with only the intention to have the last word. To my knowledge the judge had the final word, but unfortunately the BKV’94 and Kris Flossie couldn’t get enough satisfaction from that, even though I had offered them several times before to settle this privately, without having to make unnecessary expenses. They will now have the choice between: finally leaving me alone or keep trying to harass me and every time this will be countered by me, because I have had more then enough and they hurt me so bad that I will keep defending the truth as long as it takes ! A while ago I wrote a little piece about this on my website, which immediately resulted in Mieke van Agtmael stating accusations and saying that I was spreading lies (never a concrete answer to my question about what lies…) and a lot of comments on what I can or can not publish according to her vision. Well… it’s MY website and I do know who’s telling the truth. Furthermore I think that I have done more then my best to be a good friend to Kris and also in all my work for BKV’94 did my best. That they (without arguments or foundation) feel different, is their problem. As long as I have a clear conscience with the things I do, I am not intending to letmyself be influenced by others, who think or act differently and have the opinion that I should have to adjust to their ways. Also I will not – in any way – be manipulated or black mailed into doing things that go in the opposite direction of my principles. In my house I do as I please and how I please. If anybody has a problem with that, they can have their opinion on it, if desired even share this opinion with me, but the final decision to make will be my own ! Update: So far three people, who had signed the expulsion, have offered their appologies to me. They let me know, that they had been put under pressure to sign and that they were manipulated and realize how much hurt they caused me. I know how hard it is to admit to that, therefore have accepted their appologies. On a personal fun note: The website now has a lot of mistakes in it and is rarely updated. Obvioulsy it is very hard to spell German in German. To me, proof that what I did for them was underestimated!
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